How to Save a Life
by cassikat
Summary: Summary: This is the tale of the Duplicate Doctor's journey to save himself...and, if he's very, very lucky, he'll also get to save Donna. AU from Journey's End.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did own Doctor Who, this particular AU would never have had the chance to happen.

Author's Note: This is an angsty, angry puppy, and is rated M as there is coarse language and violence (against architecture), rather than the usual 'T'. The Duplicate Doctor (Jason, in this fic-verse) is pretty much a mass of seething resentment, for very good reasons.

And yes, I was listening to The Fray's 'How to Save a Life' when I was trying to find a name for this beast - the title fit because of future chapters, and here we are. And in closing, I must add - this is not a story for fans of Rose. So if you are one, please turn around NOW and read something else. You'll be a lot happier that way.

Love to KendraC, who fed my plotbunnies and thereby added detail to this baby.

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

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><p>Jason, (who Rose, and everyone else on Pete's World still called The Doctor, though he<em> thought<em> of himself as Jason Smith ), was in a foul mood, pacing the confines of his room in Pete and Jackie's mansion. He'd just been in yet another fight with Rose where she was trying to make him act like her ideal of the Doctor, and he just wasn't the sort of person who could bend to conforming to her every whim. Especially the more ridiculous and sex-related ones. And this time, instead of just shouting at her, he'd punched a hole in the wall of the room they'd both been in, as well as making the air ring with the volume of his shouting. He'd left the room, desperately afraid that he would hit -her- next, and fortunately Jackie had kept her from following him.

Dammitall, he wanted to be his own person! And that was supposed to be something joyful and _good_, not so full of anger and resentment at everything and everyone that he could barely breathe at times. Not like it wasn't justified, oh, he had plenty of reasons to even downright _hate_ a few people. But underneath all the fury, he just wanted to try and figure out who he was other than a blend of the Doctor and Donna. And another hole got added to his bedroom wall as the memory cascaded again of how he was left behind like forgotten luggage, or an unwanted present foisted off on someone else. Something to satisfy a childish, whinging, manipulative, obsessed little bitch, while his progenitors left him helpless, alone and unprepared. Well, the Doctor had, anyway - he was sure that if Donna had had time to think about it, that she would have suggested another way.

Donna - powers above, he missed her -so- much! And she had never existed in this universe - he'd checked, double-checked and triple-checked, even. Martha had existed, though the Cybermen had gotten her, and he'd known for a long time that Mickey had had his own double...but Donna? Not a breath did she take in this world. Her parents had married, yeah, but they'd had several sons. And none of them ginger, so he didn't even have the consolation of someone -like- Donna, but male. He could have dealt with a male friend, so long as his essence was what was so uniquely Donna.

His pacing had taken him back to his door in time to hear someone test the handle. Finding it locked, the person went on, and pressing his ear to the door, Jason heard Rose say '...no Mum, he's locked himself in his room again. He'll come out when he's hungry enough. I'm out with the girls, see you later." So, what would she have done if he hadn't locked his door to keep her out? Invaded, of course. Try to press herself on him? Likely. Gotten hurt? Quite probably - he was having a much harder time keeping himself from lashing out than he used to - the holes in various walls were proof enough of that. And -that- was with the memories of hundreds of years of controlling a volatile temper. Sometimes, he thought, being part human was a bad thing.

Still, since she was leaving to go get drunk, or carouse for a one night stand, perhaps he could find out what she was hiding in -her- bedroom. She _always_ made a point of keeping everyone out of it, even the servants, even as she insisted he keep his bedroom open for inspection, though he didn't. And that was enough suddenly-enabled curiosity to break through his current rage. So...wait for Jackie to come up and check on him, then deny being hungry (he never did have an appetite while he was angry)...and then, when she'd left, he'd take the sonic screwdriver he'd built and break into Rose's room to find out just what she was hiding.

It had played out almost exactly as he'd thought, though Jackie did take up some of his time with trying to coax him to compromise with Rose. He'd been kind to Jackie at some cost to himself, though it was easier talking through a door, but he'd refused to compromise. Compromise meant laying down and letting Rose walk all over him, doing nothing whatsoever with his life but what _she_ wanted, _when_ she wanted it. Which, as far as he could tell, meant being her living dildo whenever she got the itch and being her 'yes darling' when she didn't.

He was worth a lot more than that - it might be the only thing he truly _knew_ about himself, actually. Well, that and he was a bottomless well of rage and curiosity...and he was just about to sate his curiosity with a silent entrance to Rose's room. He'd brought a torch with him, so no one would get curious at seeing light where Rose wasn't, and he was assured of at least four hours search, so it was time to get to it.

An hour later after having neatly gone through her dresser (far too many revealing undergarments for his taste), and her closet, and he was ready to punch a hole in -her- wall because thus far he'd found nothing. There _had_ to be some reason she was keeping everyone out, and he had an itch between his shoulder-blades that said he _had_ to find out what it was. He tossed the bathroom as neatly as he'd tossed her closet, then leaned against the wall and sighed. He'd even looked in the cisterns of the toilet and the bidet - nothing!

As he forced his mind into some kind of quiet, he seemed to hear Donna in his head. _'When looking for a girl's secrets, look between her mattress and box-spring, dumbo.'_ So he did, and came up with three journals. He read them by date, and the first two were pretty much just a chronicle of her being 'trapped' in Pete's World, and her making the decision to find the Doctor...nothing but whinging and refusing to grow up in favour of keeping an obsession alive, really. Until he flipped a page in the third journal and found something horribly fascinating.

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><p><em>12 April, forget the year, not important for much longer<em>

_Had a breakthrough today with the experimental Dimensional Cannon. I got in touch with beings that called themselves the Trickster's Brigade, and they promised me I would have everything I wanted if I just helped them get rid of some dumb ginger. Donna Noble, they said her name was, and that she was traveling around with MY Doctor. Well duh, of course I'm going to help them get rid of her! There is nothing more important than me getting back with the Doctor, and according to my new friends, she's nothing important anyway. Just another useless temp._

_15 May_

_My new friends helped me refine the dimensional cannon, but I have to go to one particular universe first before I can get back together with the Doctor. It's a universe they said they were going to make by latching on to that ginger cow and making her make a decision to keep her away from the Doctor, forever. You'd better believe I'm all over that idea! More when I get back. Hopefully I won't come back, but you never know._

_5 June_

_Dammit! How the hell did everything go wrong? Even the Trickster's Brigade can't answer that, and they have the answer to everything! We'd deliberately arranged the time travel for Donna so that she wouldn't be able to make herself make her original decision without killing herself, and she survived in her universe, with the Doctor! Even with one of the Brigade's spawn attached to her and supposedly controlling her every move, she survived and returned to MY Doctor! Aaargh! I could tear my hair out! How the hell is she still alive? Still, she would have told the Doctor what I told her as she was dying, and he'll know I'm coming back. My friends have sworn oaths to me that my next jaunt with the cannon will lead me to the Doctor. And be able to save the multiverse from the stars going out at the same time._

_July 1_

_I am about ready to murder someone. No, several someones. That bastard - all he had to do was keep me with him, and I'd be happy. But nooo, he had to send me back to this dump of a universe with his half-human twin, and expects me to be 'happy' because I have a 'Doctor' that will age with me. I don't want a poor copy, dammit! I want THE DOCTOR! And when I get him, I'll keep him forever, even if I have to rip the TARDIS open again and steal enough of her heart to make me live forever like Jack._

_I'll dominate this bastard duplicate of the Doctor, but I -will- be getting in touch with my friends and reminding them of my bargain. Then, maybe, I'll leave the broken duplicate with that ginger cow, and keep MY DOCTOR all to myself. Or perhaps I'll leave her with nothing and keep them both. Yeah, that's a better idea._

_July 13_

_It took forever to get back in touch with my friends, but they had some lovely suggestions, yes they did. First, I have to break the duplicate I got saddled with. No problem, I had Mickey under my sway for longer than I really wanted him, I just have to work a little harder at taming this half-human Doctor. Next, and this is the part that I'm not fond of, I'll specifically tune the dimensional cannon to switch identical persons. So I'll have the Doctor to be my very own in this universe, and that universe can have the useless duplicate I'll have broken by then. I won't be able to keep both of them, dammit. They also said that because of something the Doctor did, that I won't ever have to worry about Donna Noble again. Because the Doctor was so worked up about losing that ginger cow he didn't pay attention to their influences on him, and she's forgotten the Doctor and will never remember him again lest she burn to death. I have -such- good friends! Even if they won't tell me why they influenced the Doctor to make the ginger cow forget everything. Still, it's one step closer to getting me MY DOCTOR, so I don't really care. Just a bit curious._

_July 31_

_Haven't made progress yet with that wretched duplicate, but I will. He's getting more and more physically violent, and it'll only be a matter of time till he hits me instead of the wall. Then when I'm all weepingly forgiving of him, he'll be under such a guilt complex that he'll be mine to do with as I please. I'll start tomorrow - tonight I'm going out to land me a one night stand, with someone who knows what his dick is for. And when I have this bastardised version of the Doctor broken to my whim, I don't care how many people die, I'll do what my friends ask and use the dimensional cannon to switch them. Then I'll have MY DOCTOR forever. And to hell with anyone who is depending on him. He's mine, and that's all he'll be until the end of time._

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><p>Jason just barely managed to put the three journals back the way he'd found them before he damn near collapsed on the floor, trembling in shock and rage. How dare she call Donna a 'ginger cow'? Donna was worth fifty of Rose, with both hands tied behind her back! He started shaking harder, and tried deep-breathing exercises to calm down. He really didn't need to leave proof he'd been in here.<p>

Finally calm - well, calmer - Jason rubbed his face with his hands. He'd known Rose was obsessed, but he'd had no idea she would ever go this far! Not just her plots against Donna, the Doctor and himself, but the bitch was going to damage the TARDIS too, just to try to live forever! And to deliberately work with the Trickster's Brigade! Well, he wasn't going to sit around trying to make things work anymore, to give his father-twin the illusion of a happy ending! He'd con Pete into letting him go through this universe's Torchwood's archives and swipe anything useful, then he'd use the dimensional cannon to get back to his proper universe. After making sure it'd blow up after he used it.

And then, well, it would probably take sweet-talking Jack, or maybe even actual breaking and entering. But he'd get his way into his home universe's Torchwood archives somehow, and get whatever seemed useful from there as well, and then he'd use everything he'd collected and save Donna from the hell she'd been condemned to. If the Trickster's Brigade wasn't lying to Rose about what they'd convinced the Doctor to do, in which case he had a TARDIS-detector to build instead.

Oh, and he was going to have _words_ with his arrogant twin as well, especially if he -had- wiped Donna's mind. How _dare _he do this to himself and Donna? How could he be so stupid as to not pay attention to _every impulse_ when he _knew_ the Trickster's Brigade was active again? But that was a lot of shouting for later - right now, he had to sneak out of Rose's room and re-lock it.

Then he had to go back to his room, lock it, and pretend to sleep. And in the morning, convince Pete that he was only fighting with Rose because he was bored silly, and could he please go to work with Torchwood? Tomorrow was another day.

Tomorrow, he'd start the plans to save at least one life.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. BBC owns the rest.

Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay, I had a large NaNo distraction, and then Muse turned her back on this story for ages. And a certain McAngrypants had to be hit with a bag full of cunning. And another one of patience. Not to mention I apparently have to be in a bad mood to write Emo McAngrypants... anyway...I am so, so sorry for your wait! Not to mention, it's a bit of a couple awkward time skips, but whenever I could focus on this chapter, doing it any other way was...well, not pretty.

Anyway, on with the show! Hopefully chapter 3 we'll have some actual action :D

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><p>Chapter 2: Step 1: You say 'We need to talk'<p>

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><p>The morning after the revelations in Rose's journals was difficult for Jason. Yes he now knew what was going on, and he did have plans to deal with it - and hopefully considering how Donna would approach matters would help keep those plans from going awry. But now he had to go down and have breakfast with Jackie, and Pete, if he was still home. And he had to explain things from his point of view, which meant he'd have a twisted stomach and not get much to eat. Again.<p>

Still, he put a good face on and ambled downstairs to the dining room - and had to make it a much better 'good' face, very quickly, because Tony was there too. "Morning Jackie, Pete. Heya Tony, how's things?" He dished up a decent breakfast from the sideboard and sat down to the cheeriness only a child could manage on a daily basis, and his parents' greetings.

Thanks to Tony being there, he managed to eat half his breakfast. Unfortunately, one of the servants (a nanny, he supposed) took Tony off with her, which left him without a cute shield against appetite-destroying emotions. Still, he had his plan to enact, so he altered his posture to give the impression that he was scraping up his courage, then looked up through his drooping hair at Jackie and Pete.

"I didn't want to talk about this earlier, because of Tony, but I really want to apologize for how...noisy...things have been between Rose and I. It's just..." He trailed off with an honestly heartfelt sigh and shook his head. "I'm still trying to adjust to...well, not having everything I'm used to, especially the TARDIS, and Rose...as near as I can tell, she doesn't care about how hard adjusting to everything is. She just wants what she wants, when she wants it, and I'm...I'm not ready for it. Any of it."

Jackie opened her mouth, but Pete put a hand on her wrist and shook his head slightly. 'Don't say anything until we're sure he's had his say', he meant, as one of the fights -he'd- been privileged to overhearing had been about Rose never letting the Doctor have a word in edgewise.

Jason noticed the interruption, and decided to do something useful for Pete before he left, to thank the man for being observant. "You see, the TARDIS was more than just a ship...she was my home, and my oldest friend. And now I've not only lost my oldest, dearest friend, but I'm homeless, except for the roof the two of you offered, I can't just go anywhere or anywhen on a whim like I'm used to, and...well, on top of that deeply painful loss, I'm...well, frankly I'm bored to tears. Sorry Pete, but there just isn't enough around the mansion for me to mess around with - certainly nothing that needs fixing."

"Other than the holes you put in your walls. Which," Pete tilted his head in acknowledgment. "You do seem to be fixing on your own. But that's a problem in itself, Doctor." Pete either didn't notice the barely-perceptible flinch, or chose not to acknowledge it. "You've got an anger management issue, and it needs to be dealt with."

"I know I have...issues...with being angry. It's...being half-human, it makes all my emotions so much more immediately intense than they used to be, and I'm not used to that either. I'm trying to learn other ways of dealing with it." Again he sighed, and pulled puppy-dog eyes on Jackie. "I just...I'm sorry, Jackie, I really am. But Rose is...she's...well, she's just not the girl I remember. The girl I..." The pause to actually spit the words out worked well, he thought, to make the moment just a touch more emotional. "...the girl I love." Jason choked off a bitter laugh at having to say those words and shook his head. "The way she's constantly on and on at me and refusing to see my side of anything, refusing to let me do anything, I'm...well, I'm starting to wonder if that should be past tense."

Jackie had shut her eyes and taken a deep breath, then let it go as she opened her eyes and gave the Doctor a wan smile. "She'll be better soon, you'll see. She just needs a bit more time to realise that she's got you now. I'll talk to her, she'll settle down in a few weeks."

"I don't think that's quite right, Jacks. Rose got very...determined during the years she was trying to get the dimensional cannon to work. And it's going to take more than just time to get her to settle down and see what she has." Pete shook his head and took a gulp of cooling coffee. "We're going to have to do something to get her to see that she's attained her goal and doesn't have to keep looking. You'll have to help too, Doctor."

Jason couldn't keep himself from flinching, that time, but it fit the subject well enough, and let him quit toying with food he wouldn't be able to finish. "Pete, right now it's all I can do to promise to walk away when she starts up again, instead of trying to get through to her with yet another fight."

"That's all I want right now." Pete said and finished his coffee. "Now, it's going to take a bit for me to see if there's somewhere in Torchwood that could use your talents...it'd be faster if we knew what those actually were. In the meantime, I just want you to work on not letting yourself get dragged into arguments. Walk away when she starts getting up your nose. Jacks and I will talk to her and make her see what she's doing, and hopefully we'll all be better off in a week."

"Oh Pete, still dreaming," Jackie sighed and gave her husband a fond smile. "I do know my own daughter. It'll be longer than a week - we just have to keep at it and not give up, is all. And then she'll realise she's got what she wants, and we'll all be fine." She turned and smiled at Jason and reached over to pat his hand. "Doctor, I know you need your time to get used to all the changes in your life...would it be easier if you had your own place? Not living with us?"

Oh, if only he could - he'd be less agitated all the time, he'd have peace when he wanted it, and most important, a place Rose didn't have control of any sort in. But...there was the problem of her journal, and whether she'd update it with anything useful for him to know - torn between the choices, he simply looked at his plate and shrugged. "I dunno. It would cut down drastically on the fighting if I wasn't here to be fought with...but I'd miss you, Jackie. You," He paused and flashed Pete a crooked smile. "and you, Pete, and Tony. The three of you are a big draw to stay."

Pete had one last bite of toast, then wiped his mouth with his napkin and laid it on the table. "Time enough for that when we've got you a way to support yourself, Doctor. Why don't you take today and list everything you can do, and tomorrow I can start seeing where we could use you?"

"If you can wait fifteen minutes, I can get you that list before you go." Jason smiled thankfully at Pete, and mentally counted his blessings. Whatever powers there were, they were working in his favour at the moment.

Pete glanced at his watch, then nodded. "I think I can spare fifteen minutes. The sooner you're not bored to tears, the sooner you'll have something extra to help you manage your temper."

"I'll get on it then." Jason used his napkin, then pushed away from the table and stood. "See you in fifteen, Pete." One of his brighter smiles was flashed at the balding man, and he dashed off to figure out how to write Pete the list he wanted in something under fifteen sheets of paper.

"I do worry so about him," Jackie said, once the Doctor was out of the room. "Thank you so much for offering to find him something to do, Pete. I've seen a bored Doctor before, and it's not a pretty picture. As bad as this has been, it's...well, at least he's not been taking apart the appliances and trying to make them more efficient. Which would run the risk of them exploding." She sighed and drooped a bit, remembering. "Seems like that was the last time I saw them happy together, he and Rose."

"I just wish I'd thought of it sooner, Jacks." Pete hugged his wife and kissed her cheek, then headed for the door. "I suspect things would have been a lot more peaceful if we'd given him something to do to get settled in weeks ago."

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><p>The next few months were a real test of patience for Jason. Oh yeah, he got to go to work for Torchwood - but because he was half-alien, it wasn't like he was really trusted. And therefore, wasn't allowed into the areas he really needed to get into to escape this wretched universe, much less snaffle anything to fix Donna with. Still, he got to identify artefacts - mostly broken junk, but still putting his brain and memory to use. And there was that one encounter with an actual peaceful race - the Silfaya - that either didn't exist in his universe of origin, or hadn't made themselves known yet.<p>

Still, the Doctor, whom most of his memories were from, admitted himself that he didn't know everything. It would be nice to think that the Silfaya existed back home - a truly peaceful race of beings was very rare. And to think, without him and his advice, the humans would have gone in guns-first and ruined any chance of straightening out the mess they'd made of the planet.

It just remained to be seen whether his advice and aid would buy him access to the deeper parts of Torchwood. Those being the more valuable (and working) artifacts...and the big prize, the Dimensional Cannon. Supposedly disassembled by now, he'd seen enough memos even at his low rank to suss out that it was only in mothballs, waiting for the next time it was needed. Hopefully not for invasionary purposes - he didn't think he could handle that, nor, really, could his own Earth. But the very idea just refreshed his goal to use the cannon and begone from this universe - he now had to figure out how to completely eradicate it from existence while using it to escape, instead of just using it to escape.

Six months further spent in this hell-hole, and all he had to show for it was a greater degree of access, but not quite access to the dimensional cannon. Oh, and a most embarrassing Christmas party where Rose had tried to drape herself over him like tinsel. Jason shuddered in his lab as he forced himself to _not_ relive _that_ memory. Bad enough he'd had nightmares for a solid week about a tinsel-clad Rose, he didn't need to relive the utter humiliation of everyone about trying to force him into intercourse with her. It was enough to make him ill, especially because Jackie thought he was still trying to make things work, so now he had to play the 'she sleeps around too much' card, rather than the 'I'm still settling in' card...well, he did if he wanted to keep Jackie on his side, anyway. Which he did - it was exponentially much more peaceful with Jackie on _his_ side rather than Rose's.

Still, it looked like he was just going to have to turn his attention to doing things the slightly more fun way. He'd spent too much time anyway trying to play by the rules laid out...and when did he or (really) his brother ever play by the rules? Not so much, yeah. So why was he doing it here? Oh yeah, right. No TARDIS. It was amazing, how much his brother could get away with because of the Old Girl. Yeah, he had a Baby Girl all his own, or she would be if he could ever get her set up to grow, but oh, he missed the Old Girl as much as he missed Donna.

He sighed as he used a stealth 'weasel' program to steal everything he needed to run the dimensional cannon and shook his head. He'd be gone from here by next week if he was lucky. And then he could see about growing his Baby Girl, and fixing Donna, and then getting life back to a real and true normal. Him and Donna Noble, in the TARDIS, next stop anywhere.

If she could ever forgive him for what his brother did, of course.


End file.
